Tombstone Names (for Halloween)
Otta B. Alive Ted N. Barried I. L. Beback Ohn Lee Bones Chris P Bones Rusty Bones Sue D. Bumm Ray N. Carnation Imen A. Casket M. T. Casket B.A. Corpse Sue D'Bum I. M. Dedd Barry M. Deep I. Trudy Departed |
Bin Dere Dustin T. Dust Kerry Emoff Ima Frade Izzy Gaune I. B. Gaune U.R. Gaune I. M. A. Gauner Jess Gough Justin Graves Berry D. Hatchet Lefty B. Hynde Bill M. Lader C. U. Later Herr I. Lay |
Herr I. Lie Barry A. Live G. I. Missue Yul B. Next R. U. Next Yetta Nother Rust N. Peece Fester N. Rott Moe Shonless Levy Tation Justin Tyme Dawn Under Mummy B. Ware R. U. Waytin Y. U. Waytin Reid N. Weep |
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A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.
"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."
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A man walks into a Doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asked.
"You're not eating properly," replied the Doctor.
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A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.
"What did you do that for?" the man asks.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?"
The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"
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A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of
books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears.
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!" By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library.
She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows. On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time.
The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying, "Read it, read it, read it..."
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